Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Whats on your needles
I can't tell you. ;-) Christmas is too close. Right now my main project is not on needles. I still have some gifts that need to be knit though. Right now, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. This is TOTALLY my fault. I have no excuses, I should have started sooner. I have had plenty of time. It will all get done, but I don't like the idea that until it is, every spare second is spent working on it. I will say that what I am working on is turning out pretty fabulous. I know some of the recipients will like them, others hard to say, but I don't really care. On an other stuff note...I had my eyes checked last week, and my new doctor disagreed with my previous doctor and said that I am able to have lasik surgery, or wear contacts. He gave me some contacts to try. I really want them to work, but I really don't know if they will. The first pair we tried didn't work at all. My vision was SUPER blurry. The second pair was better. I know that with my astigmatism, with contacts my vision will never be as crisp as with glasses. Now I need to decide if it is crisp enough. So far this is what I have learned, my eyes and contacts don't like florescent lights. For whatever reason, my eyes start freaking out in stores. My vision goes blurry and I can't focus on anything. It is totally crazy. Not sure if this will get better or not. Second thing, it is so much easier to drive at night with them in. I had anti glare on my glasses, but there is still a little glare, not with contacts. I like the freedom of putting on my favorite sunglasses. I sometimes feel like I am squinting when the contacts are in, not cool. My eyes have a hard time transitioning for far away to up close work. Sometimes I feel the contacts in my eyes, other times I don't. Sometimes it feels like my eyes are welling up with tears. I have no idea what the first contacts were (think they were Acuvue Oasys), but the second ones are Air Optix. My sister, who has never to my knowledge worn contacts, told me that I need to give them at least a week for my eyes to get used to them. She says your eyes change shape slightly to conform to the contacts. I have no idea. All I know is that I was able to wear them for about half a day yesterday and then could not get them to focus, so I took them out and put my glasses on. Today, I am wearing my glasses again, so that I can try and finish up my projects. Maybe tomorrow I will put on the contacts. The last thing I am going to blog about, I have wrestled with for a few days. I am frustrated and sad. I feel like I have no right to be, because the cause has nothing to do with me. However, I am a caring person, and I can't seem to block that. I am also feeling a bit selfish, and that makes me feel guilty. Sunday night my daughter and her boyfriend broke up. They had only been going out for a little over a month, but had been spending all of their free time together for almost 2. I got to know him and his family very well. They were kind enough to include us in their Thanksgiving and even Christmas Eve plans. For once since we moved here, I felt like I had made friends, and beginning to have a social life again. Now all of that has changed. He told her he loved her, she said she didn't feel the same and wasn't sure she ever would and she broke up with him. He is DEVASTATED. She doesn't seem to care. She says she needs space to figure out her feelings. He says he is lost without her. I feel like all I do is cry. I cry for his broken heart. I cry because I have lost friends. I cry because I feel guilty for feeling so emotional about this because all I want is for my daughter to be happy. She says she isn't sure she was happy with him. I am proud of her for having the strength to do what she thinks is right, but this sucks! I feel like I am not being the supportive mom I need to be. I know they had only been going out a short time, and that they are both young, but it still sucks! The last few days my relationship with her has felt broken. She knows I feel like she made a mistake, I have told her as much. I told her that love and relationships are not like what you see or read about in a Nicholas Sparks book/movie. Love isn't at first sight. It grows and changes as you get to know someone. She thinks her feelings will never catch up to his, and it is better to break up now than later when his feelings are even stronger. I feel like she hasn't given her feelings a chance. Maybe I am just forcing on her what I think is good for her, and honestly I know she knows best, but this sucks! So now my Christmas Eve plans have fallen apart, I have a gift to return as he doesn't want it because it will remind him to much of her, and I have lost the only friends I have made since I moved here. I really need a job to get me out of this house!