Sunday, July 20, 2014

Almost a week...

So, its been almost a week since my son left for Navy basic training. I have made some progress on his room. 3 bags of trash have been removed. The HUGE mountain of laundry is now just a butte. We officially have towels again. The first day he was gone was pretty rough. I cried every time I thought about it. Since then I hadn't cried, until today. Today I attended a memorial service for a 14 year old girl. Friday we learned one of the girls in my youngest daughters small group at church had died. Jacque was not super close to this girl, but it is still someone she interacted with weekly. She had a brain aneurysm on Tuesday and her parents made the difficult decision to take her off life support on Wednesday. Needless to say this upset her a bit. Today was the funeral. The funeral home was standing room only. It was such a beautiful service. Unfortunately this was the 2nd times in less than six months that something like this has touched our family. The first time was someone closer to my kids and it rocked their world. It was the first time they had really lost someone that wasn't a grandparent. Needless to say this death opened old wounds for my kids. For me it was hard because in some ways I feel like I have lost one of my kids. He is gone, and I can't talk to him and here I am packing up his room. I know that this is temporary, and I would never truly compare what I am going through to losing a child. It is not the same. Still, this packing is becoming more and more difficult for me. Today, I packed up most of the sports memorabilia, his books and his dress shirts. I will probably stick his ties in the same box as his shirts. Except for the rest of his clothes, and his electronics and some misc. stuff in his closet, I am pretty much done. Unfortunately I also feel stuck. There are some things in his closet that he really doesn't use, that I sort of want to get rid of, but then I think they are his and he should really be making this decision. More and more I wish we had spent time before he left doing this. One thing I haven't packed, and I really don't want to are his sports participation trophies. He has a few that are actual trophies for achievement, like the one from volleyball where they won the tournament. That I want him to keep because it means something. The others though drive me crazy. I hate that we give kids trophies for being on a team. Trophies are for winners. I hate how our society tries to make equal participating and winning. They are not the same. I truly feel that we are doing children a diservice by not teaching them how to lose and not still be rewarded. Plus, what do you do with all these dang trophies later in life? Anyhow, once again I have rambled and gone off on a tangent. Sorry, hopefully soon my posts will be more coherent and include more knitting. As for the knitting, still working on the same socks. Still not feeling inspired. I did however tell my husband that I truly wanted to "downsize" my yarn and fabric. I am hoping to knit a bunch of hats and scarfs and blankets to donate to charity. I'm sure there will be some gifts in there too. I am also planning on making some scrap quilts with all the fabric I have. I'm thinking I may sell, or raffle them off to help fund mission trips for my family as they seem to have the "bug" thanks to Gwen. That way I am killing two birds with one stone. Also, I am helping Jacque finish her girl scout silver award. She is making some fabulous floor pillows for church. They are a psuedo water color, and super awesome. The only pictures I have right now are on my phone and honestly I am too lazy to download them to post right now. Maybe soon. The dryer just dinged so I guess I will fold that last load and go to bed. TTFN, M.

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