Tuesday, July 15, 2014

New Chapter-the day my son moved out

Today begins a new chapter in my life. One I have been preparing for 18 years for. One in which my son no longer lives with me. One that no matter how much you prepare for, you really aren't prepared for. Today, I said goodbye to him at MEPS(local military processing)so he could leave me for basic training in the Navy. Don't get me wrong I couldn't be more happier for, or proud of him. He made a well thought out choice for his life. One that I fully support. The kind of choice I have been teaching him all along he was capable of making. My house now seems lots quieter. There is no longer the sound of video games constantly running in the back ground. I have already begun to clean and pack his room. His youngest sister has claimed it as her own. He was a little put out by the concept of not having a room here, but as I explained to him, I wasn't keeping it as a shrine to him. Plus, his sisters are tired of sharing a room, and I don't blame them. Jacque wants the room empty and hers now. I tried to explain that this would not happen quickly. First the room had to be cleaned. It was a total disaster. Then I would need to thoughtfully pack it up. Some things he would want after basic, others not so much, others still he wouldn't want for a long time. She understood this, but still wants the room now. She told me she could wait a few days but wanted to be settled before she left on vacation next Wednesday. I told her not to count on it. Today she decided not to help me clean and pack, I guess this is my punishment for not giving in to her. The saddest, craziest part is I get to do much of this again next month when his sister leaves for college. Of course she will be back more often, so her room won't need to be packed up like his. Also, hers is clean, so I won't have to do that. But, she will also be leaving, and once again the house will be a little quieter, our evenings a little less busy and I will be cooking more food than we can eat. I honestly don't know how to cook for 4 people. We have been 6 teens/adults for so long I can't figure this one out, and believe me I have been trying. I remember when I was done with nursing school, or even on my summer breaks that I joked that I didn't know what I did with my time before I went to school. I think I'm heading into something similar now. Don't get me wrong, Rece and Jacque keep me plenty busy. But, with two less to worry about on a daily business, it will seem slightly uneventful. Two years ago, Craig and I joked we had a 6 year plan. We just had to get them all out of the house. Now we are four years away from it and two are gone/leaving and it's a bit overwhelming. I know that so much good will come from this, both for them and me, but still... . This Sunday at church a friend told me that even though we are married to one person, we have several marriages through our life. The marriage when we are first married, the marriage when we have young kids, the marriage when we our kids are a little older and we feel we can have a little of our life back, the marriage when we have teens, the marriage when our kids leave home, etc. I liked how he expressed this and have thought about it a lot lately. I guess in a strange way, I'm mourning the loss of the marriage I had, and beginning to embrace the one that is just starting. The one in which I have two adult kids that live mostly out of my house and where I have two kids that still live at home. I can't see what other transitions I get to go through. I hope this all makes sense, and finds whoever reads it well. I know my thoughts sort of rambled, but that is where I am today. Also I know it wasn't about knitting. Today was an other stuff sort of day. BTW, I am slowly working on a pair of socks made with some BRS yarn from Ray that I bought a long time ago. My tendonitis has been acting up a lot lately which makes knitting uncomfortable at times. Typing too, but strangely no pain yet. Almost makes me want to pick up the knitting. LOL! Ok so that is all I've got today. -M

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